would you be there ?

2010-03-07T06:49:00.001-08:00

thanks for awaes being there..
you make me feel i m not alone !

2010-02-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

Are we no longer tgt bcos we r jus bz?
or
Are we no longer tgt bcos our r/s cant stand the test of time ?

Guess only time will tell ..

2009-12-30T10:46:00.000-08:00

2.46..31st december 2209..
i couldnt sleep ..
so i thought i blogged..
nobody is reading the abandoned blog anywae..

my heart stirred..
i dont know if you know...
or if you ever guessed it..
but i highly doubt it..

where were you when i called ?

dearie..we are in the same boat..
but i wish i was jus beside u..

i m sorry..
for i din want to hurt you..
nor do i want to be hurt again..
i knew i wld if i called..

a messy me to end the yr 2009..
so i jus await 2010..
a brand new year..
and a brand new start !!!

2009-11-23T11:36:00.000-08:00

oh guess what..
i decided to GO!!
for G-CUBE..
yup i shldnt let the fear from stopping me..
which me i have to work harder this sem..
and make sure i manage my time well..
indeed its a huge huge commitment..
and i feel realie encouraged by my cell leaders..
in church and cf..
its like i have their full support..
but i m particular encouraged by alvin..
by the confidence he have in me that i overcome it..
yeaps..
i m so loving the holidays..
jus hang out with the cf-ers..
gosh my first time to marina barage..
chill at starbucks..
den went marina barage to drink heneiken, eat peanuts and HTHT..
i must be playing realie hard..
and when sch starts i start plucking my hair out again..
ohhh and results are coming out soon..
but i dont seem to fear..
i prob pass all..
and i trust that i will in fact..
Thank you Lord and i love you !!

2009-11-13T02:29:00.000-08:00

hmm..desiree is uncertain if she should join g-cube phrase 2..
indeed the recent preparation for the exams has made me feel very exhausted..
and somehow i felt like i no longer can cope with my studies..
my distinctions are flying awae..
and g-cube realie requires a lot of commitment!!
and for me i already am finding it hard to juggling my obligations!!
and so i realie do not know if i shld join...
Rarrr..

2009-11-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

the exams are finally over !!!
which means no more mugging the whole day long..
good but bad..
cos i feel kinda lost since i no longer have to follow the study routine..
there nothing to much to do despite the ocassional catching up and activites to complete..
i feel like all those studying has made me gone mad..
i feel a whole lot of feelings going thru me..
yet i feel numb..

din hang out with my uni frens after the exams..
went to canteen with bel and will..
then dear came to fetch me home since his lessons waas cancelled..
deep inside me i felt a need to vent my frustration..
so we went to the arcade to play..
played this realie fun game which was good for venting frustrations..
and i thank God that my poly friends did not have to work tmr..
so we went to k-box at night..
the session was really de-stressing ..
though it waas jus me, xy and her bf and jh..
teh company was great..
and guess wad..
on my wae home i met with a road block..
in a rush to get home since it was already 2 plus in the morning..
i did not stop in time..
so our names were taken down by the traffic police..
and so the day ended..

it felt realie good too drive dads car..
as tho i owed it!!!
met sue yi too..
oh beloved poly frens..
i miss you guys so much !!

2009-10-25T05:50:00.000-07:00

and so i thought the day was well spent with bonnie dear..
after walking home from hougang mall with a bag full of com law related papers..
i opened the door and walk to the living room..
only to find my dad scolding because i did not reply his messages..
he send me 3 and i did not reply single one ..
simply cos i left my phone in my back and did not check..
it wasnt on purpose..
afterall i m the kind of gal who dosent keep my phone with me all the time..
its just not my habit..

and i m super dead..cos i think i lost the keys to my aunt hse..
duno how am i going to tell my dad..
who will once again..
scold me.. boo..

i miss you dear..

2009-10-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

as i walked past the event..
i started wondering about the times i was working lagoon..
and the past memories..
somehow..
the memories got locked far far away..
and they no longer had any effect of hurting ..
so i am glad..
i dont know how have you been..
but i dont long to know..
all i know is i am glad we all have moved on..
thanks for the lessons i learnt ..
and i am glad bak than i made the right choice of not doing something..

2009-09-30T23:19:00.000-07:00

desiree dosent understand what is distracting her..
desiree has wasted a week of study break..
desiree is irritated by her unfocusness..
desiree want to get at least a dinstinction for dc & mr..

2009-09-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

quite a no. of things hapened ystd..
indeed tdy was a better one..
thanx for offering to buy mac jus when i feel like eating it..
and giving me a lift to sch..
tho it was alrdy kap alrdy..
thanx for having the intention of sending me homemtoo..
yup i do enjoy working with you..
and i definitely do enjoy the frenship that begun and continue tho unexpected..
simply cos i tot you would keep the dist..

Thanks John..

thanks sunny for the favour too..
it was much appreciated!!!
a reliable fren indeed..

2009-08-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

havent been blogging for ages..
i finally watched up..
isnt as good as expected..
anywae , got MR proposal back..
we gt a HD for it..
tho i thought it wasnt as good..
think sheh is jus very kind..
feeling kinda stress and worried..
as the dateline draws so near..
well well..
we will jus see how things goes..

2009-08-16T04:55:00.000-07:00

tireds..
i want a break away from project can ?
comm law test is around the corner too..
dont feel very confident abt it..
hope i wont fail again..
cant afford too..
financially and emotionally..

2009-08-08T09:23:00.001-07:00

the wedding..
brougth to my relization how the years have passed on sooo quickly ..
how we all have grown up..
soon it will be our turn..
i guess part of me did wondered what my own would be like..
somehow i dare not imagined..
dont ask me why either..

2009-08-04T03:37:00.000-07:00

is it wrong to be nice?
is it wrong to be friendly?
is it even wrong to make friends?

how much is much ?
how far is far?

guess i jus have to pay for the consequences for being friendly..
or perhaps i haven grown up enough..
not that such things did not happen before..
i jus do not want the dynamics to change..
afterall we have a sem of proj to be done..
maybe guys are only interested in knowing girls for the reason of being attach & ntgh more..
tell me about it..

2009-08-01T05:31:00.000-07:00

i feel tired..
with the mountain of work to be done..
i feel angry..
when i cant comprehend the unreasonableness of my brother..
i feel frustrated..
when he report that i saved in my thumb drive cannot be detected..
i feel..
tdy jus not my day..
some times i jus wonder what is this life about...
whr's God for me ?
i wish sch hasnt started..
ha..

if only i could drift away to the clouds..

2009-07-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

ystd i went to the national dental centre..
and i was told the swelling was due to a relaspe of my past truma..
so the only way to it was to re-do the root canal..
as it is a 2nd treatment the odds is a 70 % sucess rate..
should any further complications arise along the way i have to do a micro surgrey..
the endodontist was a rather nice person..
but he keep scaring me..
say what emergency case..

so after much explaination the endodontist started his treatment..
its wasnt as painful as i tot it to be..
but the 3 jabs were really painful..
after an hour plus..
i tot i was done and over ..
only to realise he jus cut open the gums to allow the pass out..
and i have to go back 2 weeks ltr..
crap..

it was a totally waste of my time,money & blood..cos i could get over and done with..but i thank God it wasnt as major as an opereation..or my dad would start naggin because of the huge cost inccured..jus ystd alone i spent $600..

oh wells..perhaps all this could have been prevented if i visited the dental more regularly..

2009-07-19T07:15:00.001-07:00

1st wk into sch..
& i feel its like a battle field..
loaded with projects..
by God's grace i managed to find enough ppl for my all my proj..
desipte the messy situations whr we are all taking diff mods since some of them did not managed to clear the previous mods..
and to top it up..
my gum is swelling ..
apparently the root canal i did years ago when i was in pimary sch had a relaspe..
so i had to be referred to a specialist..
sounded quite bad frm the dentist point if view..
but i pray that God will see me thru all of it..
i jus need to continue exercising my faith..

2009-07-07T00:48:00.001-07:00

i m bored :(

2009-07-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

sch is supposed to start tdy..
apparently the classes got cancelled..
woke up in the morning with my mind all set to go to sch..
so its kind of a boring day today.
since i dont have anything in plan..
sighs..

2009-07-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

things are always beautiful because you cant have them..

2009-06-26T23:11:00.000-07:00

for the first time i owe ppl soooooooo much money..
grah...lucky the sch holi is ending ...
if not i keep gg out..
n continue owe-ing ppl money..
sorry poly mates..
i repay the debt as soon as possible..

2009-06-21T03:01:00.000-07:00

feeling quite sianx today...
dont ask me why..
i jus do...

feel like taking a stroll on the beach..
but ecp is quite a dist..have to drive down..

2009-06-12T04:40:00.000-07:00

this is something i can never comprehend...
why is my brother awaes so selfish & inconsiderate..
why why why..
we are all waiting for him to get married..
just so that he can get out of the hse..
i hate staying with you..
hate all the inconvience you bring into my life..
cant you stop thinking abt urself for once..
why am i even begging you..
cos i noe it wont even come true..

2009-06-12T00:47:00.000-07:00

如果我說　愛我沒有如果
錯過就過你是不是會難過
若如果拿來當藉口
那愛是不是有一點弱
如果我說　愛我沒有如果
真的愛我就放手一搏
還想什麼還怕什麼　
快牽起我的手
有人說
世界上最遙遠的距離不是生與死
而是我就站在你面前
你卻不知道我愛你
我常說
如果人類連愛一個人都被自己綁住
那世界末日已來到　
不需要等到地球毀滅掉的那天
如果我說　愛我沒有如果
錯過就過你是不是會難過
若如果拿來當藉口
那愛是不是有一點弱
如果我說　愛我沒有如果
真的愛我就放手一搏
還想什麼還怕什麼　
快牽起我的手
我常說　
如果人類連愛一個人都被自己綁住
那世界末日已來到　
不需要等到地球毀滅掉的那天
別怕太快樂　別怕失去我
如果我說　愛我沒有如果
錯過就過你是不是會難過
若如果拿來當藉口
那愛是不是有一點弱
如果我說　愛我沒有如果
真的愛我就放手一搏
還想什麼還怕什麼　
快牽起我的手
Da la la da la~~
快牽起我的手
如果我說　愛我沒有如果
錯過就過你是不是會難過
若如果拿來當藉口
那愛是不是有一點弱
如果我說　愛我沒有如
真的愛我就放手一搏
還想什麼還怕什麼　
快牽起我的手

2009-06-12T00:33:00.000-07:00

finally finish watching my queen..
its so sweet...
tho rather dramatise as usual..
i see myself there at times..

i think it protrayed a sneak preview of a single's life..
and i can understand how it feels like..
i think its quite true..
thats how love is like..
times where you quarrel over lill things..
and
times where you will jus stay cpativated at that very moment..
because we learn to let go..
than only will we learn to love someone else..

be dead and to rise from the dead
jus like how the feng xi zi works..

2009-06-08T01:10:00.000-07:00

oh mans..
i am falling in love with MY QUEEN..
haven watched ou xiang ju in along long time..
thanks to mic intro..
i started watching it..
nice one..

2009-06-06T04:47:00.000-07:00

i guess..
we are jus not meant to be tgt..
i m jus sick and tired of the quarrels we have..
perhaps..
it wasnt even rite in the 1st place..
what the use of feeling the blues..
when nobody even bother..and i tot today would have been a better day..
i was so wrong..
but i guess tomorrow will be ..

wldnt be stuck at home all alone on a saturday nite..
i shld have wear something like jeans den i cld have gone down to meet hj..

but i am glad i have a blog to rant things i wont tell ppl..

2009-06-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

this week has been like bleh..
i feel so sad & ugly..
jus like an ugly duckling..
how could i even be like dat?

Lord wont you put things rite..
and cast out the sinful desiree..

2009-06-04T01:22:00.000-07:00

Like the sun that rises everyday
You are so faithful
Dear Lord You are faithful
Like the rain that You bring
And every breath that I breathe
You are so faithful O Lord
Like a rose that comes alive every spring
You are so faithful
Dear Lord You are faithful
Like the life that You give
To every beat of my heart
You are so faithful o Lord
I see a cros and the price You had to pay
I see the blood that wash my sins away
In the midst of the storm
Through the wind and the waves
You'll still be faithful
O You'll still be faithful
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more
You'll still be faithful
You'll still be faithful, O Lord
Each day comes and yes Lord You are faithful to wake me up and go about my daily things
Each struggle comes and yes Lord You did not leave me
But is faithful to see me through
Thank you Lord for being so faithful to answer each prayer I pray
Thank you Lord for bringing the people,
For bringing the smiles
And for being in our midst
Lord truly You are so faithful, help me Lord to have more faith..

the chances are low..but i trust and trust that you bring me thru it.. : )

2009-06-04T01:06:00.000-07:00

today the results were out..
and i am feeling super indifferent..
din want to check my results till tomorrow..
but with the msges that keep coming in asking how i fare..
i finally checked it..
yups i did got the 2 distinctions that i promised myself and dear last sem..
but it did not seem to make up for the law module which i failed by 5 marks..
feeling super numb..
probably cos it was all within my expectations..
nxt sem i hope to reach out for high distinctions if i could..
i failed not because i did not study..
and the truth is studied till the book break..
as for now i jus commit my appeal into his hands..
trusting that he will be faithful jus as he had all my 22 years of my life..
and i noe he will provide me a way out..

2009-05-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

went to shang ri la for dinner ystd..
fisrt time i step food in shang palace..
whoo..the food not bad..
presentations of the food was good..
the place was rather atas..
well..simply a place where the rich dwells..
enjoyed my dining experience there..

cant wait to eat at the revolving restaurant this monday..
with my poly peeps..
in advance i would like to say..

Happy 22nd Birthday sue yi !!

but with all this eating sessions ..
i feel i m getting fat..
hahah..
oh wells..

2009-05-19T07:25:00.000-07:00

ystd was the first time i worked at raffles place..
the lunch time crowd is never ending...
the people will start streaming in ..
theres a q at every shop..
i m not kidding..
you even have to q to pay up..

i jus miss working at tanjong pagar..
the food is nicer and so much more affordable..
hmm..
i hope i will get a job at tanjong pagar in future..
nestle..i hope..
actualie..
i think pmg is a nice company to work in too..

2009-05-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

went to cut my hair tdy...
i love it !!
found a place that is reasonably priced to cut my hair..
and its good !!

2009-05-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

Been feeling rather bored..
dont ask me why ..
i jus know that..
i probably needs something new to entertain me..
like learning something new..

yups found someone who is willing to teach me photoshop..
hoorraaayyy !!!

now i would like to take up some baking courses..
how i which i could have a diploma in pastry arts...

time realie flys..
the chats we have realie made me realise...
how quickly the years have gone on..
how we all have moved on with our life in different areas..
like how sum ppl are so anxious to get married..
while the guys are thinking abt life aft NS..
nevetherless dinner was great..
and the company was enjoyable..
hope our nxt outing abt the treetop walk will come soon...
hahahz..

ystd was also my 1st outing with my new clique in SIM..
went to Illuma again..
kind of sick and tired of that place..
hhaaz..simply cause i spent a whole of last saturday there..

2009-05-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

okay i cant deny that my blog has been rather boring ..
simply cause it jus revolves round exams and nothing else..
but i cant help it..

been rather suprised by sum ppl who reads my blog actually..
now that the holidays are here..i will keep the entries coming..

lately, i been thinking alot about the future..
and i can foresee so much uncertainity..
so i decided..
this holiday is unlike the previous one have to be more productive..
not one that comprises if slacking and fun only..

i would hope to acheieve the following goals by the end of this holiday :

Learn the basic of photoshop
but i dont know who can teach me?
i will be so grateful to any kind soul out there who is willing to devote a small portion of you time to teach me. Having worked in Lagoon i realised the importance of knowing photoshop, yet i have been putting it off, so i guess now is the time...

Clear up my room & hopefully have a little revamp if possible..

Learn to bake something new

Improve my driving skills
Must prove myself to be capable to drive on my own...though its been a year i haven drive the car alone cause dad simply refused to let me do so..except the time when i sneak out to ang mo kio with mum..hahah..

2009-05-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

whee....exams are finally over!!
so i m finally free-ed of stress..
its been a realie stressful period..
nvr been so fearful of exams..
but i think part of it is self induced to attain the goals i set for myself..
but now having .. m not very confident..
oh wells..
todays paper was realie exhAusting..
time to play realie hard..

2009-04-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

feel kinda stress..
prob cos i noe i cant reach for the D's or HD's..
bleh...
better blog here to distress..

was watching this tv prog on ch 8..
on every wed..
abt daddys heading the household doing all the hse work..
this wk was esp nice..
cos i saw a perfect family..
maybe there isnt such thing as peferct..
but it was super ideal..
the dad is a doctor..
naturally the family will be super well off..
the hse is very well designed..
love the dughter's room..
very girl and nicely decorated by her dad...
all the kids are very well mannered..
could tell dey have been very well brought up by the young couple..
the mum is very pretty too..

ah..i wish my family wld like this too..
sweet !!

2009-04-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

No sch today..
so i went out to study..
but the studying isnt v gd..
duno y these daes i seem to not be able to focus..

thanks dear for having lunch ..
its much appreciated..

2009-04-02T08:22:00.000-07:00

tired..
i feel this heavy burden on me..
stressed...
so stressed..
exams are soo nearrr..
and i m fretting...
brr...

Lord..
i pray for strength, determination and wisdom to pull me thru..
amen

2009-03-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

super sian today..
feels wierd, like something is lacking..
din feel like the usual me..
super no mood to study..
so aft coming home from sch i totally din not do any studying..
duno y ..
i think i was longing for a dear's company..
and guess wad.. dear went to mabel's hse for steamboat..
so it was so near yet so far..
esp with the avaliablity of the car..
i muttered a prayer and felt better..
but still din feel like studying..
perhaps is the weather..

2009-03-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

finalee finished one chpt of comm law..
took so dam long can..
duno how many hrs many..
Just 1023 is such a killer can..
hope i will be able to finish summarising all the notes..
rarrrrrrrrz...
jus want to ven my frustration..
6 more wks...
zzzzzzzzzz..

2009-03-20T06:53:00.001-07:00

lousy friday..
1st i overslept ..
missed my lunch appointment with bonnie..
den she kind of told me off..
well i m in the wrong so i gt ntgh to say..

super no mood for lessons tdy.
got back our test for acctg..
thank God i passed..
tho wasnt satisfied with my marks..
cos i barely scrapped thru..
this sem result sux..
tho i feel i studied harder..
nevertheless i thank God for seeing me thru !!
i feel like crying badly...

went to amk hub to get some snacks..
haven been there for sometime..

the dynamics changed..
prob due to wad i say that day..
but i din regret saying those stuff..
guess its alrite..
jus kind of miss that kind of attention

so glad mel initiated to tok to me online..
was kind of taken aback oso..
but it was good..

2009-03-18T01:34:00.000-07:00

exams date are out..
time to hit the book..
did com law tdy..
1 chpt only but tiring enough..
hope to do well this sem..
mas work superbly hard in for this 6 wks..
and i promise i will play hard too aft dat..
jia you worx..

2009-03-15T21:59:00.000-07:00

its yet another monday morning..
and its raining again ..
jus like it did, last monday..
but this wk its holidae..
so i guess i wasnt so lonely..
gt ppl to disturb ..

oh wells..
feeling realie tired..
the heart is willing but the flesh is not..
and i dont know why..
wanted to finish my revision..
but it seems ntgh much gettin it..
I pray that the revision will be a fruitful one..
and i shall continue trusting in him..

was browsing thru some photos on face bk..
than i realise how long he and her has been tgt..
i think its at least a whole 5 yrs..
but hes still so sweet to her..
and somehw it make me wonder how he can love her ..
when she can be so irritating and get on our nerves all the time..
ok this rather random dont how come the tot jus surfaced ..
i feel his a realie nice guy..
ok i think i shld stop bitching ..
or i end up like a bimbo..lols..
crap la think too nonsense liaos..
awaes gg crazy anywae, ntgh new..
lalala lalala.......

2009-03-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

half the day have alrdy gone by ..
and for me my day have jus started..
guess its monday blue..
din realie noe what to do tdy..
since there isnt sch tdy..
the pass few mondays have been spent studying..
and since the test are over..
there no motivation to mug..
tho there a whole load to be done..
since my exams will probably be a whole mth or so awae..

still i put on a smile a start the wk rigth.. :)

2009-03-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

mid terms over ..
yeah !!
and i dont want to of the results..
i left colourful lollies this very day..
i hope i wont regret this decision..
I thank God for pulling thru this v rubbish week..
esp fri..
glad its all over..
Indeed prayer works wonder..
and when frens fails God dosent ..
for i can do all things thru christ who strengthens me..

2009-02-28T06:53:00.000-08:00

tdy was scary..
had com law test..
THANK GOD my mind din went blank..
tho it almost due to the fluster..
but aft the test..
it was super wierd..
it feels as tho i dont know what i was doing..
i keep gg blank..
super scary ..
cos can feel like this very empty feeling..
cant think properly even for simple stuff which din not require much thinking..
everything cldnt realie register
and i boarded the bus..
and to my suprise i felt lost cos i din even noe if i have missed my stop..
at that moment i felt super lost..
it din even cross my mind to ask the bus driver..
had a headache so i headed home after dinner..
it was something i nvr experienced before..
i hope it nvr happen..

2009-02-24T21:15:00.000-08:00

bored..
feeling kinda bored when i having so many test after test..
ok feeling so distracted..
hope the test tmr wld be ok..

studied with Elizabeth and her clique at KAP..
somehow i enjoy studying with them..
it so diff when studying with my clique..
like with them i m the youngest..
everybody is rather focused..
so things get done..
they are productive..
they talk and know when to stop..
unlike my clique..
prob cos the age difference..
but it was fun with them : )

2009-02-17T06:55:00.000-08:00

Biz stat test is drawing near with each coming dae..
dreads..
i dun seem to now my stuff well..
the qns are jus so diff frm the examples..
sigh..

all i feel like doing is talk to myself..
i seem to be learning to enjoy my own company this days..
wierd..not liek the usu me..
btu i guess its good oso..

2009-02-14T23:39:00.000-08:00

tdy i was alone..
all alone in my room..
with the company of the radio and the lappy..
wierd..
i hardly enjoys time alone..
awaes yearning for company..
but tdy the time alone was good:)
hadnt have such time in a long long time..

wanted to my work..
to clear that mountain..
but yup..

2009-02-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

stop procrestinating..
stop being lazy ..
stop telling myself i m lazy for i noe i can do it..
alrite gg crazy..
but yup i noe i m blessed so i jus keep on keeping!

2009-02-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

day 2 of intensive studying..
but is seems i lost it...
rarr..
dun noe wad stopid knocking are they doing..
rather distracted tdy..
each time i want to study..
each time the knocking goes on..

2009-02-02T06:53:00.000-08:00

burnout thats how i feel..
sigh..
dont seem to be coping well..
realie hope i get my distinctions at the end of the dae..
jus want to play and take a break..

yup dearie i miss ya too..
if only we cld escape from work..
into our land we go..
hope to see you ard v dae so dat we can do baking tgt..
so sweet of you to bake sas his cake..
and you can finalee celebrate ur v dae..
wonder how it wld go if we were to go on a double..
think it be super interesting la..
bleh : )

2009-02-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

din go for cny visitations..
probably gt ppl speculating..
or probably it din mattered..
went for 4.30 svc instead..
i be back in cg ..
thanks for missing me gal.. : )

stress..a mountain of work piled up..
and to add to it..
i din realie catch a number of lect..
rarr...
i hate this feeling..
isnt very used to the timetable oso..
think deAR is right..
i m jus very lazy..
cant i jus be a lill hardworking ?
or the distinction dat i aim for will jus go down the drain..
but than again maybe it simply cos i m stoopid..

2009-01-29T09:16:00.000-08:00

its realie late..
tho sch is early tmr..
i decided to blog..
wanted to write my feelings down...

deep inside ..
i knew things will nvr be the same again..
at least not same but nvr to the same extent..
crap abt rebuilding it..
cos losta effort and time has to be invested in it..
crap..cldnt even believe how close we used to be..
jus a whole load of crap..

life is meaningless..
even more meaningless w/o life after death..
yes it is for me..
do i ever belong?
not church..
not school..
not here..
not there..
not anywhr..
cos i never belonged..
everything jus sux..
what is life for?
i realie wonder..
i m tired of life cos it sux..

2009-01-27T10:38:00.000-08:00

cant realie sleep so i decided to blog..
finalie done and over with the wake..
went to ate supper with xy n jh..
glad xy jio-ed us out or my cny wld be so bored..
tho keat asked me out to watch ink heart..
while sunny asked me over to his hse..
thanks jh for walking me hm once.. :)
i din took it for granted hor..
but yup realie nice of you..

2009-01-25T09:19:00.000-08:00

a new way of celebrating chinese new yr..
ate nasi lemak for dinner..
slept & woke up..
wierd..jus gt this very wierd feeling inside me..
probably cos not the routine cny..
tmr is chu yi..
wonder what we will be doing..
oh wells...tmr will worry abt itself..

2009-01-24T09:36:00.000-08:00

tdy i felt sad...
and i couldnt explain it..
maybe i did..
grandpa died tdy ...

wanted to tok to someone..
but i din know who to turn to..
late at this hour..
tho des called and i rejected the call..
decided to start bloggin..
yet there isnt much to say..

the feeling jus sux...
and it jus hurt so much ..
so the tears did the talking..
period...

2009-01-17T09:32:00.000-08:00

dedicated to you..

Don't you ever wish you were someone else,You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same, cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.
[Verse]I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.[Chorus]
[Bridge]Believe in yourself.Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.You'll make it through.[Chorus]

2009-01-17T08:10:00.000-08:00

tdy is an eventful dae..
started the fire with rui qi ..
gal power..we did it ..
and it was gd..

anywaes..tdy was a long awaited dae..
you probably wanted to all this while but wasnt ready..
i glad it came..
Josh i forgive you i realie do...
till than i be giving you my blessings.. :)

2009-01-05T07:38:00.001-08:00

m glad we talked abt it..
yups i reallly understood what you meant..
but indeed its a huge challenge posed to me..
but i believe there is hope..
i wont give up..
cause till then i believe i will and can...
all we need is jus a lill time...

2009-01-04T08:13:00.000-08:00

walking down that street...
at the spur of the very moment....
all the memories came flooding back...
times we used to spend tgt..
the words you told me kept hitting me hard..
i noe that promise will nvr ever come thru..
and one day i wld love to get to know you again..
all over again..
and i know that it wld be a whole new you & me..
thanks for the lesson taught..
i have learnt..
and learnt them well.. :)

wishing the best for both you and her.. :)

2008-12-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

My heart is filled with so much love and I need
Someone I can call my own
To fall in love, that's what everyone's dreaming of
I hold these feelings oh so strong
Life is too short To live alone
Without someone To call my own
I will care for you
You will care for me
Our love will live forever...

Chorus:
Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love that I long for
Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love
I've been waiting for
I close my eyes and pray all my wishes come true
Every nite I go to sleep
Until you're mine, I'll wait for you endlessly
Can't you seeFairy tales, they do
Sometimes come true
If you believe, it
Could happen to you
Like the stars that shineWay up in the sky
Our love will live forever...
Repeat Chorus
Like the stars that shineWay up in the sky
Our love will live foreverLive forever...

2008-12-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

7 dec 2008
Sharon Han & Chee Seng Chee gt married..
it was my 1st time being a jie mei..
it wasnt as exciting as i expected it to be..
was rather slpy sumhw...
simply cos we did not carried out the games we planned..hahaz..*evils..
nevertheless the wedding was a gentle reminder of how much we have grown up...
having reached the age of 21..
guess the next big thing dat we ladies wld look forward to is...
but sumhw ..fears will linger..

hmm..back to the wedding..
it was the smallest one i ever been too..
sitting there at the reception table..
tgt with chrystal & ashley..
i was given the guest list..
and than it struck me..
wld mine be like that too..
was realie afraid not many of my frens will attend my wedding..
or perhaps i did not have many frens to start with..
and so the whole wedding left me with lotsa of thots..

i did up my hair..
and gosh i think i look so pretty & grown up..hahahz..
even ppl agreed........
hahahz..

2008-12-04T09:01:00.000-08:00

i Thank God for my result..
cos sumhw i noe he was there helping me..
but man..my heart was hurting when i heard mel's result..
sumtimes i wonder..
or shld i say most of the time..
life is so unfair..
all this sound so ironic but its realie how i felt..
who could comprehend all this?
crying is still the best therapy i dont deny..
yup i m like her..

2008-12-04T00:18:00.000-08:00

my results will be out in a hr time..
prob cos deep in my heart i knew i prob wont do as well as i tot..
not feeling anything..
not expecting much either..
crap..
since the holiday, it been a long time since i last stayed at hm..
guess i picked the right day..
cos it kept raining..
suppose to go with marg to get a dress for sharon's wedding..
but marg has an interview and i decided i jus wear my purple one..
its aboring dae today..
but at least i managed to tidy my room..

2008-11-23T05:26:00.000-08:00

finalie 21...
Jus wana say a million of thanks to..
everyone out there who attended my party..
din realie have time to make my speech dat dae..
or rather i was too nervous dat i forgot to..
so i guess i make it here..lols..

bein 21 isnt dat of a great deal..
but its definitely a big milestone it life..
I thank God for havin led 21 years of my life..
simple things like bein alive each dae..
which we often take for granted..

the party wasnt grand or special..
but to me it was indeed a memorable one..
and for once i ever held a proper big scale party
where the guest comprises of relatives & frens frm diff areas of my life..

special thanks goes to..
my parents for their up bringing all these yrs...
dear for everything you have done..
Auinty Jo for the dress..
Bird,xin yee , Jian hOng & sunny for the deco..
keat & sherman for clearing up
Bonnie for the co-ordination..
Jia Min for the make up
poly peeps for the post party party..hahaz..had fun with you guys..
church mates for the camera :)

i realie felt love..esp from ppl who made it there specially..
and for those who werent there..
i can understand..
the best gift i ever receive was frm mic,margs and candice..
simple and str frm the heart..
guess it was a signal to start rebuilding our frenship..
miss you guys..
once again THANKS ..
no words can express how thankful i m..
i noe i am the luckiest gal around..yes i do.. :)

2008-11-10T08:14:00.000-08:00

the long awaited dae finalee came..
tdy is the my last paper..
somehow i dont feel relieved at all..
i jus wish eveything cld start all over again..
if only it could..

everything sux..
it was raining super heavily..
i was totalee drenched..
and i was late for acctg..
bt not that late either..
balance sheet that could not balance...
wrong..
everything jus wrong..
its been a yr since i last took exams..
this is the suxiest one i ever had..
i nvr felt so bad...
nvr ever cried when i cldnt do..
bt i did tdy..
i jus cldnt take it anymore..
not one bt 3..
nw done with exams but the after exams blue wont go awae..
perhaps turning 21 is not so peak aftall..
i dont even look forward to it..sigh :(

2008-10-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

stress...m feeling so stress cos exams are so near..
yet i duno so many things..ahhhhhh
been trying to figure out how to do the cashflow..
both i wont give up..die oso mas do well...

wads wrong with me ?
des ar des..

i think i have changed...
changed into someone i dont even know...
sometimes its feel like i dont even know wad i m doing..
at times its feels as tho i dont even noe wad i m saying..

sighs..:(

2008-10-13T00:54:00.000-07:00

marketin results are out..darn it..
din get any d or hd..
kind of dissapointed cos I studied quite hard..

2008-10-11T09:48:00.000-07:00

went for ade bdae..
din realie like the food at the restaurant..
headed down to timber...
a pity we din get in..
heard the the Jason Mraz song..
falling in love with it..

dear i miss you..
miss spending my sat with ya..
miss ya sending me hm aft the gatherings that i have with my frens..
you seem so far awae..
tho it s barely a week..
all i can do is wait for the week to pass by..

sigh..cant slp..its alrdy 1.15..

2008-10-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

managed to choing finish our proj..
jus in time..
realie wanted to go out this fri..
jus wanted to chill out..
but..my frens are bz..
maybe i shld get a Mr Friday..hahaz..jus kiddin
jus dont like the feeling of gg home after sch on a friadae..
not used to gg hm oso..
oh wells..think its fated for me to go hm and study...
since my exams are jus a few wks awae.....
feeling pressure..cos i want to maintain my grades..
my High distinctions..hope i get them..

i fear as the dae passes..
kind of wish time time can jus stop ..
skip the month of november and then proceed to December..
dont ask me why..
i jus do..
i m jus afraid..
perhaps it was all too me centred....
but i m learning to let go.
abit by bit
letting it all go..

dont know wad i talking oso..
jus wanted an avenue for me to say
wad i realie want to say..
say how i realie feel..
i haven grown up & i know for sure..
simply cos i jus wanted to be a lill gal..
in my lill world..
period..

2008-10-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

wohoo..i gt high distinction for both my test..
i couldnt believe my eyes when i knew i gt full marks..
cos i nvr took accounting b4..
hope i will be able to maintain my distinctions..

proj gona due yet i gt realie inefficient team mates..
what can i say..

2008-09-27T03:05:00.000-07:00

i need losta motivation to study cos exams are jus one mth awae..
bt these daes i so not in the studying mood..
urgh..
i mas study..
its my only chance to score...
i dont want to waste my parents money..

dun understand how come i can be so lazy?

2008-09-26T21:57:00.000-07:00

not in the best of mood theses daes..
stoopid kor keep using my lappy without my permission..
not like he dun have his own..
what the hell..

was irritated by stuff in sch.
met xy n sy after sch to eat my fave wan ton mee..
haha..den we went pubbing..
Jh & c came down to join us..
dear came after work oso..
had fun with them..
cant wait to go k nxt wk...
tho i will be gg to k tmr..

2008-09-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

went prawning at bishan..
it was my first time prawning..
and i caugth a prawn..
shld have caught 3 man..
thanks to jh n des la..
still dare say i waitress...hahaz..

had fun ..
wonder wad wld mine be like..
oh wells..still far awae..

2008-09-15T04:38:00.000-07:00

at times i look back and wonder..

but the ans never came..

prob cos it came a long time way back..

2008-09-10T22:07:00.000-07:00

its been a yr..

ystd..i saw the spore flyer..
was kind of boring..
duno y they still charge so much for it..
yup i wanted to go on it..
thanks..thats sweet of u ..

2008-09-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

chance upon it..
read it ..
felt sadx..

why do u have to hate him?
i will nvr understand it..

grah...

2008-09-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

mid atumn festivals are ard the corner..
yup yup..i want to carry laterns..
jus like i used to in my younger days..
re-living those younger days..

the thing is who will want to go carry laterns at this age ?
cukoo june who is like me will..hahahz..
she awaes does childish stuff with me..
dats y she's my bestie ..
nvr realie spent mid atumn with my frens..
bt i cld rem i spent it with mic at tiong bahru park..
dont think we will spend it tgt this yr..

i wana go chinese garden!!!
i wana eat those lovely snowskin moodcakes!!

2008-09-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

one down..two more to go..
econ test was easier than i expected..
hope i get full marks or even near to full marks..
the qns were easy simply cos a few of the qns are the exact sames ones as the lect gone thru a hr before the test..
the lect simply nvr bother to even change the number..

oh wells ..
theres still acct & mktg test..
acct abit harder..
zzzzzz...
hope i pass..
i m scared of failing..
bt who can help me when my frens are equally as bad as i m in acct..
and rachel who can understand acct better than us did not attend the lect..
and to make things worst the lect teach a diff method frm the text..
help me !!

did not hve lessons on tdy..
i took some time to browse thru my frens blog..
and i felt a mixture of emotions..
the way one of them wrote thier blog is realie sad..
tho not a very close fren of mine..
bt i knew how it felt to be like dat esp upon turnin 21
our prime yrs..

sigh..
gg to hit the books soon..
i mass pass acct..

2008-08-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

i miss you lots..
it seems like you've been awae for a long long time..
i noe you be back soon..
bt these few daes have been esp long..
perhaps cos i noe dat you be back soon..
i dislike times like this when you be awae..
tho i nvr really say...

ahh..m super irritated tdy..
my nose jus cant stop itching..
rarr..

2008-08-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

its 12.25 but i m super hungry..
tho i jus ate supper with the cf-ers..
the prawn noodles were jus not satisfying enuff..
how now so super hungry..
..was super nice la..
offered to carry my prawn mee for me..
impressive sia..

you who is reading my blog mas jia you kaes..
dont give up..
i will support you..

had a long long dae in school..
lucky tmr no school..
nites..

2008-08-24T05:57:00.000-07:00

caught the fireworks with dearie june on fri..
it was funny cos we were rushing like mad..
only to find ourselves waiting for it to start..

such days are awaes memorable and significant to me..
tho i did not managed to watch it tgt with dearie again..

could still rem fondly exactly this day in 2007..
back then i was still working at lagoon events..
the memories will awaes be sweet :)

2008-08-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

i need to start studying..
i need some discipline..
but i m awaes distracted..
ahhhh...
what wrong with me ?

sch have started a few weks alrdy..
i seem to have difficulty in finding a balance..

lazy to get out of my hse but my hse too not condusive for study..
hais..
joanne is at hm..
jeannie prob working..
mel n rach at in sch for biz computing..
bao hui prob out shopping..

oh wells..

i jus have to study...

will complete the mktg notes by tdy ...
no matter wad..

2008-08-05T06:52:00.000-07:00

day 2 in sch..
uni life isnt as bad..
lucky i managed to find a click of six..
woah..the ppl realie dress man..
they wore dress man..
was undress for the 1st day..
suposed to meet jeannie on the bus..
din managed to catch her..

ate pasta for lunch..
the food is delicious..
den we had our discussion at ngee ann..

met dear at the mrt station..
miss him ..
miss the hugs..

i love u dear..

2008-08-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

newblogskin for a new phrase in my life..
light hearted and cheerful..
thats wad i wan my uni life to be..
i promised my dearie june to enjoy my life in uni..
& if its sux i will change it !!

tdy marks the start of sch..
mtg mel n jeannie at the bus stop..

2008-07-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

bye lagoon !!
i left...finalie left..
ate pizza for farewell..
sharon's treat ...
gt a nike bottle from jingwen..
hugs frm sharon..
wishes from angela..
fruit juice frm ah sao..
ntgh much..
the feelings is weird..
super mixed up..
i can believe i worked there for 1yr & plus..
so long yet so short..
indeed the year has been very good training for me into the working world..

it back to school soon...
yipee back to student life..
been gg out n mtg up frens..
i hope i meet a nice bunch of uni frens..

orientation was boring...
nvr see any familar faces at all..
hahah...
left early to rush down for xin yee's 21st..
not many from tp turned up..
guess its cos of the place & day..
bt she gt losta pressie tho..
i hope my will be a sucess too !!

met winnie & June on sunday ..
we nua-ed at the bored game cafe..
haven met up with them for so long lioa..
bt it still so fun..
somehow its like back to the good old days..
its been so many years..
yet we are still the same..
except that winnie temper is better liaos..
hahha..
bt its a good thing..
lets meet up soon b4 sch starts..

2008-07-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

haven been updating..
tdy has been a long and tiring day..
been out of office this three days for the PALME ASIA exhibition..

rarrr..
emo...
jus feel like crying today..
sometimes i realie wonder is what all i am doing worth it ?
is it worth it a not?
i have been trying so hard..
sooo sooooo hard..
yet at times i dun feel appreciated..
guess thats probably the worst one can feel..
guess i m jus tireds bah...
i want a break..
a break to a far far awae place..
whr i can stay there..
in my own lala world..
period...

i noe tmr will be a better dae

2008-06-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

blog blog..
i realie realie want to go on a holiday..
a long long holiday..
to a far far away place..

2008-06-26T01:27:00.000-07:00

had sushi in office..
was kind of a farewell party..
i hope i wont do stoopid things before i leave..
bt my impression is bad enuff..
with a 4gtful mind..
stoopid gal !!!
feeling so lazy..
haven been doing stuff..

2008-06-24T00:04:00.000-07:00

jus told richard that i will be workign till end of this mth..
he told me to stay till mid july..
& i agreed for sum reason..

super sad..
mixed feeling & emotions...
i jus hate myself at times like this..
& of cos i only have myself to blame..
bish..
it means so much to me..
yet i let it slip by jus like this..
it been so long since i let any tear roll down my cheek in office..
bt tdy it happened again..
i noe you have your reason for doing this..
oh well..
guess its one of my greatest regret ..
opp lost..lesson learnt..
thanks to you..
i will never be soft hearted again!!!
rarrz.........

sometimes i wonder why do we even get tgt when u dun ever seem to understand me..
migth as well jus break up..
i realie dun understand..
perhaps i nvr will understand..

once upon a time..
there was this girl..
who let a chance slip by her hand and did ntgh..
wad stoopid gal was she..

thanks for being there Mr Policeman when i needed someone..
i will continue to help u de..
jia you worx

2008-06-19T23:47:00.000-07:00

had very bad cramps..
went to office for half dae ..
felt so weak..
i hate being a gal..
rarr..

2008-06-19T23:38:00.000-07:00

been wanting to watch sex and the city..
din get to watch with dearie..
cos we din book tix..
& by time we gt there it was already sold out
despite having been out for so long..

had fun shopping !!
we bougth our first mango shirt tgt..lols..
the same shirt..
bought her hers as her pressie..
dearie mas meet up more ya..
awaes enjoy the cukoo stuff we do tgt..

2008-06-17T21:21:00.001-07:00

office is quite today..
left me n michelle..
so no govt..haha

anywae dear send subway to me..heheh..
dats so nice of you..
thanks alot..
a pity he did it cos i asked him to..
wouldnt it be best if he offered w/o me asking him to?
bt i will still appreciate it anywae..

THANK YOU DEARIE !!

2008-06-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

watched kungfu panda with Keat , JH & dear dear..
nice one !!
den we ate at bens n jerry ..
had fun !!

i think the msg the movie is trying to bring across is rather meaningful..
indeed ..
the secret ingredient to the secret receipe is ntgh..
simply cos its abt beliveing..
believeing in God..
Believeing in others..
& believing in ourself..

cant wait for wed...
gona watch sex & the city with dearie..
hehheh...
finally meeting up with xy on thur for shopping !!

2008-06-16T02:11:00.000-07:00

the amazing race is finally over !!
was super tired..
dat i din even open my mouth to say anything during bs..
the company sux..
i dun realie like the ppl in my cg..
jus not the kind i would like..
or shld i say jus not the kidn i could relate too..
bt lunch with the guys was fun & enjoying..
hehehe...i awaes love the guys company..

you were being too random ystd..
maybe not..
jus trying to strike a conversation?!..
hahaz..

this week bz bz ..
losta appoinment..
wkend most likely burnt due to work..
i wish i have more time to mee up with ppl..
i wish my batt would last longer..
it seems the life of my batt is getting shorter n shorter...

one word to describe me..
holidae mood...
dearie is finalie back !!
suppose to meet on sun..
bt then her chix came back..
cant wait to catch sex and the city with her...

2008-06-10T02:52:00.000-07:00

The rain, just never seems to bringthe joy I feel the same.
Everlasting pain of my loss remains

My heart can’t seem to learn to part
the hold you left your mark
all that I dreamed of now it seems so stark

Though I told myself won’t hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now but give in

If you gave me one chance to tell you just how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you
I won’t live my life without you

If you gave me one chance to tell you just how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
and you know I’d never let you go

The way you left me on the train
I don’t know what to say
I remember everything that day
I can’t believe we’d never dance
I just need one more chance
to share the sunset our one last romance

love this song to the max : )

2008-06-06T01:12:00.000-07:00

went out with des n jia min ...
farewell dinner..
the dinner dam ex man..
jus me n des..
we ate till 90 plus..
haha..it jus reminds me of the dinner we had at earle swensen..

tireds...been gg out too much lately..
events, personal stuff..
back to back...
feel lke gg hm after work tdy..
bt no choice since i already promised to go out with xiao mei & chrystal..

gt a new bracelet..
thanks..dearie..
it ex bt u still bought it for me w/o much consideration..
i love you to the max..

2008-05-29T20:40:00.001-07:00

i wished i had yoshi for lunch today..
a pity no one will be so nice to deliver it to me..
boo..
bleh..
so lousy...